9.03.2006

But My Heart Was Too Breakable

I dont know how to get back to
Being anybody without you

Conversations.. so relevant
The feelings, so prevelent

And I thought 'we' were inevetable
But my heart was too //breakable//

a-a-ayyy come back to me
Cuz without YOU there is no 'me'

b-being honest with myself at best
e-e-eroding heart inside my chest

I miss you. I love you. I don't know where you are
I never thought a boy like you would break my //heart//

You fell OUT of love. Please, tell me how
I need that skill for >myself< now

And I thought 'we' were inevetable
But my heart was too //breakable//


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ABC 123

ABC... I can't go on
123... what's the next one?
My mind is scrambled
My heart is confused
You're holding on to me.
What do I do?
 
What's the next letter in my name?
What's the next emotion I'll exclaim?
A sound is part of a word and a word, a meaning
Just like you want to be part of me
 
And you are, though you can't see
Without you, darling, there is not me
I don't know which way is up
And without you, I don't feel much
 
You say 'I'm holding on, and I'm not letting go'
You said the same things to her, you know
Then you dropped her, just like that
And you'll leave me at the dropp of a hat
 
I know you say, it's not the same
But darling, i don't feel that way
I don't share your infatuation
You need a reevaluation
 
Of your emotions, stop for a minute. Think.
You won't get drunk if ya don't take a drink
Ya get me? understand, please
Please stop idolizing me!
 
Just because I'm saying no
Doesn't mean i'm playing hard-to-get
Sometimes, no means no, hun
That's something not to forget
 
ABC... I can't go on
123... what's the next one?
My mind is scrambled
My heart is confused
You're holding on to me.
What do I do?
 
What's the next letter in my name?
What's the next emotion I'll exclaim?
I'm being honest with you at best
Breaking the eroding heart inside my chest
 
What's the next letter in my name?
What's the next emotion I'll exclaim?
A sound is part of a word and a word, a meaning
Just like you want to be part of me


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I Don't Know How I Kept My Voice Strong

I dont know how I kept my voice strong
When i knew what i was doing was wrong
Oh honey, pain is what you make me feel
The problem is, darling, you make me real
I hate how you know me but I dont
I hate that i know you will but i wont
I hate how you say only some things
I want to hear, but you make me sing
The fact I love you creates my rage
And i hate the fact that how i feel is so opposite of hate...
Oh honey, pain is what you make me feel
The problem is, Darling, you make me real


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I'm Okay

Sometimes... I just amaze myself.
How can I say i'm okay?
How can I pretend i don't need you?
 
How can I act like I just want a friend
When I know you could help me out
Of this depression I'm falling into?
 
What hurts the most
Is I was so close
I had so much to say
But then I said 'i'm okay'
 
Why did I decide to pull away
Why did I say that 'i'm okay'
I still have so much to say
But all I manage is 'I'm okay'
 
And I know you should help me
But I don't know how to let you
How do I fake my apathy
 
i'm so numb. i want to feel
But I'm scared cuz I don't want to let go
To my hiding place. I keep pretending.
 
I keep being fake and i pretend not to care
how can i refuse a jem so rare?
i just want you to be here
But baby... baby i don't want u too near
 
What hurts the most
Is I was so close
I had so much to say
But then I said 'i'm okay'
 
Why did I decide to pull away
Why did I say that 'i'm okay'
I still have so much to say
But all I manage is 'I'm okay'
 
Repeat
 
Sometimes... I just amaze myself.
How can I say i'm okay?
How can I pretend i don't need you?


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Not Afraid

I'm not afraid to fall
if you fall with me
I'm not afraid to live
if you live with me
 
I'm not afraid,
not if You're here
Beacuse in You theres
no such this as fear
 
Dont worry if you're gonna pray
And don't pray if you're gonna worry
Is what my daddy used to say
'Trust in Him'. END of story
 
I'm not afraid to fall
If You fall with me
And if You keep loving me
I'm not afraid to believe


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The Basics

We need to get back
To the basics:
 
I'm a girl
You're a guy
And disrespect
Does not fly
 
I will not tolerate
your excuses
I just need you
To stop your pushin'
 
Cuz you're pushing me
Over the edge
Darling it's the basics
You start to forget
 
No means no
Yes means yes
I have a heart
Inside my chest
 
I'm not yours
And I won't be
I'm not you
And you're not me
 
You can't tell me
What's best for who
I am right now.
If you say it's you
 
You're being single-minded
You're not thinking straight
Darling, from this drama
I need a long break
 
Leave me alone
About how much I need you
Don't say I need to
Cuz that's not true
 
I don't.
And you need to remember
That we need to get back
To the basics


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That's When I Remember

When every day is yesterday
I know pain is here to stay
When I can't see into my eyes
That's when I need to cry
When my eyes sparkle green
That's when I want to bleed
When I know that I am numb
That's when I need to love
When it's forever the 16th of November
That's when I don't want to remember
Whenever I think about the word 'love'
That's when I want to cut
When I can't feel my bleeding wrist
That's when I remember this:
Someone said, 'Don't forget,
Baby, In my eyes, you are perfect.'


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YOU Plus Me

One and one make 2
One and two make 3
Love is the answer
To You plus me

You hold me close and say
'You're beautiful to me'
With You holding me
I could never freeze

This is a love song to You
The only one who sticks closer to me
Than a friend, a brother
I was blind, but now I see

As I lay in the dark,
Whispering to You
You take me by the hand and say
'I believe in you. I do.'

One and one make 2
One and two make 3
Love is the answer
To You plus me

When You're not around,
I feel so numb
And thought of You
Makes me fall in love

I'm sorry. So sorry.
For all the things I've done
But, please, Dear Invisible
Believe You're my ONLY One.

One and one make 2
One and two make 3
Love is the answer
To You plus me


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